A few Hard Truths after 6 months of Cruising

May 22, 2018
Palm Cay Marina, New Providence, Bahamas

SOME HARD CHOICES

This next post was originally going to document our trip north back up through the Exumas from Georgetown. However, as I sit here at the beautiful Palm Cay Marina on the southeast tip of New Providence, waiting on weather and watching the early tropical system in the Gulf of Mexico, I am in a more reflective mood. A couple of weeks ago, we made the difficult decision to return to the states for the summer, instead of making the attempt to keep heading south into the Caribbean. Our original plan had been to get into the Caribbean early enough in the season that we could run south quickly if tropical weather kicked up. Maybe we would get down to Grenada to haul out and/or store the boat for part of the summer and head north through the Caribbean at a more liesurely pace next season. The best laid plans…

There are a half dozen reasons for our decision to turn back towards “home”, most of them prudent and obvious. Celia is going to read my post below and say its too negative; that people want to read about the fun and sun and rum. But I need to get it out. I need to read it back to myself and realize we are making the right decision to turn around and head back to where we started and ride out the tropical storm season. I figured I might as well share my idle musings with our friends and families who have been so supportive and all of you who have shown up at our “going away parties”. Some of you in Key West will think I am like a bad penny; you thought I was tails, but I keep turning up!

This is not to say we are tucking our tails between our legs, selling the boat and giving up (although at various moments we have considered it). We are committed to calling the last six months what it is: our first big shakedown cruise and a learning experience. We haven’t quite burned up the cruising kitty yet, so we will stay the course (boating pun) and continue on, even if its in the “wrong” direction.

Our current goal with returning to the Keys is to spend more of our modest (and getting modest-er) savings (hopefully offset with some gainful employment) getting ready for Cruising Life-Phase Two. These will include fixing the important needs and issues on the boat that we’ve discovered while sailing a 20 year old boat the hardest it has been used in 12 years; doing more robust planning of our future routes; digesting our strengths and weaknesses and our lessons learned; letting the Caribbean recover for another season; and giving it another go for points south after hurricane season is over in November.

However, I won’t lie. We feel a little defeated and as if we failed in our big “year in the Caribbean” dream this time around. I know that we have done more than most cruising dreamers just by getting off the dock and exploring the Bahamas for 3 months. But giving up our careers, house (which ended up destroyed in Irma, so I guess I should be grateful we made that decision), and our comfortable life in the Florida Keys; spending ridiculous amounts of money upgrading and outfitting the boat and countless hours in hot, dirty boatyards sanding, bottom painting, and restoring the teak, trying to figure out how to repair various engine parts; selling all of our worldly possesions…it all seems like a steep price to pay for a 3 month trip around south Florida plus a 3 month sail around the Bahamas. It both vexes me and makes me more determined to see this plan through.

We got started late this season by not crossing the Gulf Stream until March. As a result, the seasonal trade winds kicked into sporty southeasterly mode (opposite of where we were trying to go) a month ago. In addition, Celia recently injured her shoulder (while doing a leg workout?!) and it has been hard to sail the boat single-handed since she’s mostly out of commission. One of my oversights in upgrading the 20 year old systems on the boat was leaving the original motor mounts in…so we now have an uncomfortable amount of engine vibration which is steadily getting worse whenever we try to use the motor. Where once we could find the sweet spot of RPM’s to get us where we wanted to go under power or motorsail smoothly, for weeks now, we have basically been using the motor only to get on and off anchor and set our sails. Admittedly, this has made us better sailors, as we’ve had to wait patiently for the right wind speed and direction to be able to sail where we want to go next. It has forced us to give up motor sailing and straight lines from Point A to Point B and learn to plot a course which involves going further distances to tack and jibe our way to our next destination. This issue is one of the main reasons we are heading back to the U.S. and one of the main reasons we are heading back to Florida this summer. Getting major work done in foriegn countries is often more expensive and unreliable and I just have not wanted to take that chance.

So Celia asked me the other night: “What have you learned?” I realized that while I couldn’t quite answer that vague question in the moment, I knew that I and WE had learned quite a bit. In between the picturesque beaches, hours of snorkeling, fishing, hiking, exploring, cold Kaliks and rum punches, new and old friends, beach bars, and peaceful anchorages, have been the moments that made us occasionally question our decision to attempt this madness. While this life keeps you busy, there is ample time to be introspective and self-critical. I sometimes wonder if I really knew, or was really up to, the amount of work and dedication that such an adventure would require of me. I have no idea how retirees do this…my 46 year-old body feels like 76…(must have been one too many late nights at the Green Parrot). I certainly have moments where I wonder what the hell we have done.

All of that said…in the end, I have come to the conclusion that I would not change our choices. I feel like we have challenged ourselves mentally and physically and are both better for it. On a personal level, we have learned about ourselves and each other. We have learned about our relationship and how strong it is and that we can coexist in a small room for days at a time in the rain and still no one “accidentally” goes overboard on the next passage. We have learned how to be a better team and more efficient cruisers. We barely find the need anymore to speak (a good thing) when setting or retrieving the anchor. We get the sails up and trimmed at least twice as fast as when we lived aboard at the marina. Celia has learned how to bake bread in a kitchen that is smaller than your hallway closet. We have learned what some of our weather and sailing limitations are and what we do and don’t like about this crazy lifestyle we have chosen for a while. Learning what things we do and don’t need to be happy and comfortable on our little floating 34′ hallway should help us shed a couple hundred pounds of gear for our next cruise. I learned that beer is expensive down island and that I should have brought more beer. I also learned I should have spent more on good beer…I am sick of Miller Lite and Coors Light.

We have learned so much more about our boat and how she sails and behaves and what she does and does not like. I am a relatively experienced, safe, and efficient mariner overall. I am more than capable of smoothly pulling a large boat into a tight slip at the marina (most of the time anyway; never forget “somtimes you watch the show, sometimes you ARE the show!”) or setting an anchor on the first try. But I am going to be the first to tell you that even a little casual cruise like this will show you all of the things you DON’T know and humble you on an almost daily basis. I am no expert sailor who grew up racing daysailors at the yacht club. I am self-taught and could definitely use some more expert instruction on sail trim and balance, routing, and how to sail the boat more effectively in different conditions.

And although my father is one of the most gifted mechanical minds I know, is an accomplished large diesel engine mechanic, and can change brake pads, tires, or suspension faster than a NASCAR pit crew, I got none of those genes and didn’t take proper advantage in my exaulted youth of the incredible wealth of skill and knowledge that were at my fingertips. What use would I ever have of needing to be a grease monkey and work on diesel engines?! Little did I know…

The engine is obviously one of the most important systems on the boat, if not THE most. While diesels are known for being reliable, they do need proper care and feeding. My father would say they just need fuel, air, and spark. I would say that is a vast over-simplfication. In fact, I already just dissapointed the old man since diesel engines have no spark plugs…wrong again! I am not what you would call overly handy with tools. I am a hack. As long as it takes no precision, no straight cuts, or is not a vital piece which has to go back together just right, I will give it a shot most of the time with passable results. The diesel engine on a boat is many things. It is your generator for charging the batteries that provide all of your creature comforts (lights, music, charging phones and tablets, fans, etc.). It is the propulsion to get you off and onto anchor, turn into the wind to raise sails, and get you in and out of marinas. It is how you get someplace when there is no wind or the wrong wind. The diesel engine scares the shit out of me. I don’t want it to break. About all I can do is check and change the oil, replace RACOR filters when they need it, adjust the belt tension, watch the guages, and make sure she is topped off and not leaking her vital fluids. The rest is faith in the mechanics I worked with in Florida to put her in good order before we left and a lot of hoping and wishing on my part that something significant does not go wrong. I crawl into the tiny engine compartment a lot just to look around and touch everything. I am constantly checking hose clamps, spraying all the electrical connections with corrosion block and dialectic grease, and making sure nothing is out of sorts. I want to catch small problems BEFORE they become big problems. I have learned the importance of Preventative Maintenance. Maybe I will make my dad proud of my mechanical prowess after all! You can’t expose your ignorance if you prevent the problem that would expose you in the first place!

Another huge thing we have learned is the sense of community, generosity, and kindness of the people who are out here doing this odd soul-searching vagabond life, as well as many of the Islanders we have met along the way. It certainly reminds me of the magic in Key West and the Florida Keys that have made me call that chain of islands home for 20 years. But it is even more enhanced by the relatively small number of people out here doing this and the fact that we are all far from home and many of the things we take for granted living in the U.S. If something happens to any of us or our boats out here, there can often be no one to help except for other cruisers (at least in the immediate moment). We all know this; and the help and support come quick and without expectation of recompense or reward when something goes amiss. The old salts readily share their experience and knowledge with the newbies. I am regularly reminded that there are still a lot of good people out in the world. As this is most certainly an international community, I am also regularly reminded that America is a little crazy and nuerotic, and that we all have to take a step back sometimes from our incessant media and consumption driven culture and rise above the negativity to be the best version of yourself you can be in the moment.

Thank you for following along. There will be a few more posts coming soon about our trip back up the Exumas and our journey back across the Gulf Stream and down the Keys. In many ways I am thankful to be coming home. I dearly miss my friends and family, and will make time for both before we head back out in November. I feel that both we and the boat will be better prepared for a real Caribbean cruise after her maintenance haulout and reassesment of our gear. I promise more posts of rum and fun and sun and adventure! Just had to keep it real! Thank you to all who have and will be opening their homes and hearts to us this summer as we prepare to try again in the fall. I will leave you with this…

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